I shared my thoughts with one of our photographers, Brandon Voges, while at the zoo scouting locations for a shoot. We had a lengthy, theoretical discussion/debate that went a lot like, “Okay, there’s the tiger, what do you do?” Our quick-reaction drills netted the theory that jumping in the nearby pond may be the best chance for survival. Our rationale: (1) The tiger would not have anything to pounce from. Assuming the water is deeper than 3 feet, it could act like an equalizer, siphoning the tiger’s strength. (2) If the tiger is treading water, presumably with three of its legs, it would only have one claw and its mouth to maul you. (3) The average person (not panic-stricken) can hold their breath for over a minute and may be able to dive below the tiger and confuse it to their actual location.
Finishing a close second to jumping in the pond, was climbing a tree, for many of the same reasons; the tree would be the equalizer, climbing would be the
hindrance, and gravity would be your friend. After running through several different “would you rather” scenarios involving a tiger; our thoughts turned to the next scariest thing known to man, Kimbo Slice.
seconds, the others were 43 seconds and 19 seconds respectively.
Sitting at the studio one day, we began another theoretical discussion: How much money
would it take for you to get into the octagon (an MMA fighting ring) with Kimbo
Slice? The only stipulations are that you have to last 90 seconds and all medical bills will be covered. Brandon ‘Fleet on His Feet’ Voges would do it for $100,000,
he thinks that he could stay away from the powerful bone crusher for the full 90, “If he gets a hand on you, you’re a dead man”, Brandon said. Fellow co-worker James ‘I Have a Death Wish’ McKenzie would face off with Mr. Slice for only $10,000, “I just bought a house, that’s a lot of money”. Personally, I look at it like punitive damages from a lawsuit, if he hits you in the face he could cause serious, permanent damage, I wouldn’t entertain the thought for less than $10 million.
Need more proof for your pudding?
The tigers are fed daily at eleven… Kimbo’s next feeding is May 31st on the
premiere of Saturday Night Fights on CBS.